


Only You

by MovieWocher



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: F/F, jerrie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-04-19 17:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19137463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovieWocher/pseuds/MovieWocher
Summary: Grief is the price we pay for love. Someone wise said that. It also changes a person and when you look into the mirror, you’ll hardly recognize yourself. These are the thoughts that ran through Jade’s mind as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. She already lost the love of her life. And now she’s about to lose someone else because she wouldn’t allow her to come in. And while she wasn’t sure she was ready for a new relationship, she knows she can’t lose Perrie as well.





	1. Chapter 1

“So what did he say again?” Perrie asked Jesy as she leaned on the bar.

 

“That thing is dirty, you know,” Jesy said as she looked down at the bar table causing Perrie to remove her arms from it. She then placed another shot of vodka in front of her friend.  

 

“Whatever,” Perrie said as she rolled her eyes. “I’m so totally over guys.” Taking the shot in her hand, she looked around the place until her eyes rested on a brunette who was nursing a bottle of beer while looking disinterested. She was about to stand up when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and found Jesy shaking her head.

 

“Not that girl.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Too much baggage, babe.”

 

“I like purses, I like bags. I might like her baggage.”

 

“I’m surprised you haven’t noticed her before. Well maybe you were here at different times, I don’t keep track. She used to be the life of the party.”

 

“That one? Are we talking about the same girl?” Perrie said as she pointed at the brunette who was now looking at the person sitting beside her, nodding. But anyone can see that she wasn’t really listening. She had this far away look in her eyes.

 

“Yes. That’s Jade. She had a fiancée.”

 

“Had. I like past tense,” Perrie said with a smile as she tried to walk towards the brunette. Jesy grabbed her arm this time.

 

“She died. Around six months ago, I guess.”

 

“Oh.” Perrie sat back down on her stool.

 

“She’d come here every now and then and just sits there with a bottle of beer that she doesn’t drink. Her friend, Leigh would come with her. They’d stay an hour tops and then leaves.”

 

“Now that you mentioned it, she looks sad. I mean hot but still sad.”

 

“Perrie Edwards, if Sister Alma can hear you now, she’d turn over in her grave.”

 

“What? I’m just stating a truth. I have eyes, you know.”

Jesy shook her head before heading to a new customer. Perrie on the other hand, angled the way she sat so she can watch the brunette at the corner of her eyes.

 

***

 

The following month, Perrie was at Jesy’s earlier than usual and was sitting on her usual stool when she felt someone sat beside her.

 

“Emm… Jesy. Can I get a bud please.”

 

Perrie sat up a little straighter and slowly turned her head. There she was, the brunette, Jade sitting right next to her.

 

“Oy Jade. Where’s Leigh?” Jesy said as she handed a bud.

 

“She’s running late but she’ll be here.”

 

“Better stay here for now, just so no one bothers you.” Jesy then noticed Perrie staring wide eyed at Jade. She glared at her friend before turning back to Jade. “This one beside you is Perrie. She’s my best mate since forever. Annoying and all but like a pet she kept on following me, so I decided to keep her.”

 

“Jesy!”

 

“That’s okay.” Jade said as she turned to look at Perrie and smiled at her shyly. “I know Jesy well enough to know when she’s joking. Hi, I’m Jade.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Jade.”

 

“Oh sorry, I’m late.” A person stepped in between Perrie and Jade. “I can’t believe that new guy in the office just suddenly left without saying anything. And now I have to do all the work. I’m so glad today is over. And you are?” She suddenly asked, all warmth gone from her voice as she turned towards Perrie.

 

“It’s okay, Leigh.” Jade said as she laid a hand on Leigh’s arm. “It’s Jesy’s friend, Perrie.”  

 

“Oh okay,” Leigh relaxed as she nodded at Perrie. “Let’s go grab a table,” she said as she grabbed Jade’s hand and pulled her off the stool.

 

“See you around.”

 

“Huh?” Jade turned around to see Perrie awkwardly looking at her.

 

“I said, see you around.” Perrie repeated after clearing her throat. “You and Leigh.”

 

Jade nodded and then followed Leigh.

 

“You should probably stick to guys. Your mojo is not working on the ladies.”

 

“I’m not trying, well I’m trying not to try. You told me last month that she was still grieving, I’m trying to be respectful.”

 

“Wait… who are you and what did you to my friend?”

 

“Haha.. very funny Jesminda.”

 

“Seriously, that’s very mature of you. The trying part. You might want to wipe that drool off your chin, though.”


	2. Chapter 2

Perrie just finished a job interview and she wasn’t feeling great about it. So when she saw a grocery around the corner, she marched in determined to load up on crisps. She grabbed a basket and went to the crisp aisle and just started dropping her favorites on it.

“Err… you’re having a party?”

Perrie froze as she matched the voice to the person. She turned around and looked at Jade who was eyeing her nearly filled up basket. “Sort of… party of one.”

“Good day or tough day?”

“The latter. Just got back from an interview. It didn’t go so well.”

Jade nodded thoughtfully. She then reached for a brand that Perrie wasn’t familiar with and then placed it on top of the rest of the chips. “Try this one. It’s good.”

“Oh okay, I will. Thanks.”

“Nice seeing you, Jesy’s friend.”

“It’s Perrie.”

Jade gave her a little nod and then went on her way leaving Perrie alone who felt like her chest was about to explode.

***

“What are you doing here?” Jesy asked as Perrie came in dragging a large shopping bag of crisp.

“I’m confused,” Perrie answered as she dropped the bag on the floor and sat on her favorite stool.

“About what?”

“So my interview went as badly as it could. I was like so depressed and stressed. And then I ran into Jade. And mind you it was all prim and proper. But now I’m feeling all sort of tingly inside. It’s confusing. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel today.”

“Why do you have it so bad for that girl? Is it because she’s unavailable?”

“I don’t know, Jesy.” Perrie whined as she laid her head on the counter. “She doesn’t even remember my name. She’s not even that pretty.”

“She actually is.”

“Okay fine. She’s pretty, she’s beautiful. And she looks like she got an amazing body underneath all that fabric she wears. But she’s so out of it. She’s in her own little world. I can’t take care of her. I can’t even take care of myself.”

“Then don’t. Problem solved.” Jesy said as she grabbed her friend’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“But I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. And when I do, I’d suddenly see her and then I’m at it again. It’s like the universe is conspiring to make my life harder that it is. This is so stupid. It’s just a stupid little crush.”

“Maybe you’re just a little vulnerable right now because of that blotched job interview.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, open up one of those crisp and I’ll get us soda. It’s too early for the hard stuff.”

***

“Perrie… Jesy’s friend. I didn’t know you work here.”

“Jade!” Perrie eyes widened as she recognized Jade who was wearing big dark sunglasses. “Yeah, I do while waiting for my big break, you know.”

“Aren’t we all,” Jade said as she placed a shirt on the counter. “I guess that interview really didn’t pan out?”

“They actually called me for a second one, if you can believe.” Perrie said as she scanned the shirt.

“It seems like you’re selling yourself short. You have to believe in yourself more.”

“I’ll try.” Perrie smiled at the girl. Then she suddenly remembered what she was doing. “Oh, it’s 19.95.”

Jade opened her purse and handed over the cash. “I’m not being a diva and all with these sunglasses. I got an eye thing going on. It’s all red and puffy.”

“Not judging here,” Perrie said as she handed over the change and bag. “Hey. You want to grab coffee or dinner sometime.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Jade stepped back, frowning.

Perrie felt the start of an anxiety attack. “It’s because you seem to give good life advices.” She added quickly.

“Err…”

“I’ll pull Jesy and you invite Leigh. Lets make it a group thing.” Perrie was flushed at this point. “It’s going to be fun… and educational.”

“Yeah… I guess so.” Jade relented. “Let’s talk when we’re all at Jesy’s.”

“Okay. Have a nice day,” Perrie said with a forced smile. “Next customer please.” She added as she looked at the only person on the line, a teenage girl.

“That was smooth… not,” the girl said with a giggle.

“I’ll probably never see her again,” Perrie said with a dramatic sigh as she started scanning the girl’s purchase.

“Who knows? She did stop several times to look back at you.”

“What?” Perrie was about to give herself a whipslash when the girl suddenly grabbed her face.

“Don’t. You’ll frighten her. Trust me. Your story, no matter how awkward it is right now, is not over yet.”

***

“What’s the deal?” Leigh asked when she sat down in front of Perrie, all business like.

“What do you mean?” Perrie asked innocently.

“You asking Jade out. You do know what happened to her, right? Jesy most likely told you.”

“Yes, she did.” Perrie nodded.

“And?”

“What do you want me to say? I just want to be her friend.”

“You’re wasting your time. She is definitely not ready.”

“To have a friend?”

“Now, you’re wasting my time,” Leigh said as she glared at Perrie who glared back at her.

“Fine,” Perrie said as she raised her arms in surrender. “Maybe I have a little crush but I’m not going to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. I just want to be her friend.”

“This is going to end badly for you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I won’t.”

The two glared at each other again until Perrie felt someone walked behind her and saw Leigh forced a smile on her face.  

“Hey. I thought you were running late,” Jade said as she sat next to Leigh.

“I was able to get away sooner than planned. Unlike some people, I know when to leave.” Leigh said as she turned towards Perrie.

“Are you two okay?” Jade asked as she looked at the two girls.

“Of course, we are,” Leigh said as she sat up and smiled at Jade. “We’re just having a little chat, little story time. Right?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Perrie said as she smiled back at. “Just two girls sharing stuff. We’re good.”

“Ladies,” Jesy greeted the group when she arrived. “what’s good here? I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since last night.”

***  

“I’m sorry Pez, I can’t do tomorrow night. I have a date.”                                  

“Come on, Jesy. Leigh is out of town. Jade wouldn’t come if it was just us two,” Perrie pleaded.

“You now what, we’ve been doing this for a while. She maybe comfortable enough even if it’s just the two of you.”

Perrie whined as she stomped around the bar.

“Can the three year old kid throwing a tantrum just pick up the phone and give it a try.”

Perrie looked like she was about to cry but she fished her phone out of her pocket and went to a corner. Jesy looked on as Perrie’s expression changed from fear to relief. She waited until Perrie walked back with a silly grin on her face.  

“What happened?”

“She said yes. She said it was fine if it was just the two of us.”

“It’s just dinner Pez. Don’t get your hopes too high.”

***  

The following night, Perrie and Jade were sitting quietly eating their food. Numerous times, Perrie tried to start a conversation with Jade but she mostly responded with nods and hums. She knew that it was mostly the three of them, Jesy, Leigh, and herself doing most of the talking when they were out but she had this small spark of hope that maybe Jade will open up a bit more. It seems like she was wrong that was until they were almost finished.

“Errr… Perrie, I have a question for you. And I want you to be honest.”

“Yeah, of course,” Perrie said as she placed her utensils down on her plate.

“Are you… were you expecting something more than friendship between the two of us? I can’t help but feel there’s something with you but I don’t want to assume.”

Perrie pushed her plate away and placed her hands on the table, her fingers tapping nervously on the glass.  

“I’m not going to get mad,” Jade added after a few seconds.

Perrie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she placed her hands on her lap and leaned forward. “I may have a crush on you, just a little one, a small one. I’m not expecting anything to grow out of it. I just like being near you, talking to you.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, Perrie. I’ll do you the same courtesy. I’m not ready for anything. It hasn’t been a year since my fiancée died. And we had been together for more than five years, eight if you count being friends. I can’t even consider anything right now and I don’t know if I ever will.”

“I understand ---”

“No, you don’t,” Jade said with more emotion that Perrie had ever seen her. “You don’t know what’s it like. I wake up every morning and wonder how the world is moving on like nothing just happened. It’s offensive, I find it offensive that the world has moved on when I feel like I’m dying each day because she’s no longer here. And I’m just mad and then I’m sad and then I can’t feel anything. I’m just going through the motions. And there is nothing, nothing that I can give you or anyone in this world because there is nothing left in me to give. All I want to do is to curl up and die.” Tears spilled down on Jade’s cheeks as she sat there defiantly, challenging anyone to stop and console her.

“I’m sorry,” Perrie said quietly as she stared down at her hands. “The last thing I wanted was to upset you. You’re right. I don’t know what it feels like. I just… I just wanted to make you smile. If you want me to stay away, I will. I’m really sorry, Jade. I really am.”

“We should get the bill,” Jade said back in her monotone.

***

It has been a week and Perrie was avoiding Jesy and Leigh who had been trying to call to her. She didn’t expect anything from Jade, of course. She turned off her phone and just stayed in her bed when she’s not at work. She wasn’t mad at anyone, she was mostly ashamed of herself. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she still persisted. Before she knew it, hot tears were streaming down her face. Then her doorbell rang.

“Pez, open up.” Perrie can hear Jesy’s voice in her room as she started to bang on her door. “I know you’re in there.” More knocking and doorbell. “I do have your spare key, you know. I can open this door anytime.”

With those words, Perrie stood up and ambled over to the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see all three girls. “What are you doing here?” She asked as all came in, last one being Jade who gave her an embarrassed smile as their eyes met for a brief second.

“This one wanted to talk to you,” Jesy said as she pointed at Jade.

“Ehmm… yes, I do.” Jade said after she cleared her throat. “I want to apologize Perrie for what I said last time. I wasn’t mad at you. I had been holding everything inside and it just spilled out.”

“No, don’t apologize. I was totally out of line.”

“No, you weren’t. You’ve never shown me anything outside of friendship, you were never inappropriate. I just lashed out because I don’t know what else to do. But it’s not right. And I do want to be friends. I think it will be good for me to talk to people who will not remind me of her. That is, of course, if you’ll still have me back and you’re okay with just being friends.”

Perrie turned towards Jesy and Leigh who both nodded. She turned towards Jade and smiled at her. “Of course. I still want to be your friend.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You got a dog!” Leigh said as she excitedly pushed Perrie to get to the wagging dog behind her.

“Leigh and dogs…” Jade offered an apologetic smile as she followed inside and watched Leigh go gaga over the new dog.

“And you don’t like dogs?” Perrie asked.

“We never really had pets, my mum didn’t like ---,” Jade looked down to see a cat rubbing at her ankles.

“That is Jack,” Perrie said as she reached down to carry the cat in her arms. “He’s the family cat and just moved in with me.”

“Edwards! You building a zoo here?” Leigh asked as she played with the dog on the floor.

“Just Hatchi and Jack for now.”

“Now, you’ll never get rid of her,” Jade said to Perrie as she pointed at their friend who is now barking at the dog.  Perrie laughed in response as she released Jack and sat down beside Leigh on the floor.

Bored, Jade leaned back on the couch and pulled out her phone. She was scrolling through twitter when she felt someone staring at her.  Cautiously, she looked at her side and found Jack the cat right beside her. “Hey there Jack.” Jade said as slowly raised her arm and patted the cat’s head. Then she looked back at her phone.

Meow.

Meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow.

Jade looked at the cat again. Then without warning, Jack jumped on her lap and settled in.

“Oh… he loves you! He never does that to people he just met.”  

Jade couldn’t help the smile on her face as Jack began purring.

***

“You sure?” Leigh asked Jade as they stood at the club’s entrance with Perrie and Jesy.

Jade nodded as she grabbed Leigh’s and Jesy’s hands and pulled them inside.

Perrie stood awkwardly by the entrance before Jade suddenly reappeared with a grin on her face. “Sorry, only got two hands.” Then she grabbed Perrie and pulled her inside.  Perrie was instantly greeted with the full blast of music. “I miss this,” Jade shouted as they reached the other two.

After getting a few round of drinks, the four were bopping up and down to the music and laughing at each other. Perrie was more cautious and declined some of the drinks. She self-appointed herself as the mother hen for the night and besides she knew it was Jade’s first real night out and she doesn’t want anything bad to happen. It was past midnight when Perrie collared them and convinced them to go home.

Jade was still dancing in her seat when their UBER reached her house. Leigh and Jesy were dropped off first and Perrie was supposed to be last but seeing Jade still acting a little bit silly, Perrie decided to make sure she was settled in safely before going home.

“You’re coming with me?” Jade asked in surprise when she saw Perrie picking up the keys she dropped as she tried to open her door. She didn’t even noticed her beside her.

“Yeah. I don’t want anything to happen to Jack’s new best friend,” Perrie said as she straightened up and triumphantly showed Jade her keys.

“Jack is one cool cat!” Jade said as she leaned on the door and watched Perrie open her door. “Can I keep him?”

“Nope.”

“But he loves me…” Jade whined.

“He’s my cat.”

“Perrie….”

“Go to sleep, babba.” Perrie said as she handed Jade her keys and gently pushed her inside the house.

“Aren’t you coming inside?” Jade asked when she noticed that Perrie stayed by the door.

“The uber is waiting.”

“Get a new one in the morning.” Jade urged as she pulled Perrie inside. “Have an extra room.”

“It’s okay and besides Jack and Hatchi will be worried if I don’t get home.”

“Jack!”

“Yes, Jack.”

“Tell him I said hi.”     

“Good night Jade,” Perrie said as she closed the door. Then taking a deep breath, she walked back to the car and asked the driver to go to the last address. She sat quietly, lost in her thoughts.

“Are you okay, ma’am?”

The driver’s voice woke her up from her reverie. “Excuse me?”

“You looked so happy earlier, now you don’t. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve seen that look.”

“Huh?”

“He’s not worth it if he’s making you feel that way?”

“What are you talking about?”

“There are other fishes in the sea who’s going to treat you better.”

“I’m not… I’m happily single right now.”

The driver peered at her from the rear view mirror. “Denial is not good for the soul.”

“With all due respect, mind your own business.”

The drive home was quiet.

***

“Look at me!”

Perrie lifted her head and looked at Jade who was making weird faces at her. Then she started laughing. “Why are you so weird?”

“Sorry to tell you Perrie, but our Jade here has always been weird,” Leigh said as she sat down in their table. “Sorry I’m late, work.. ughhh.“

“Yup,” Jade nodded as she picked fries from Perrie’s plate. “Didn’t I tell you that was my middle name?”

“I never would have thought.”

“Reel them in first before showing the weirdness, then it’s too late for them to escape.”  Jade let out a villainous laugh.

Perrie laughed with her until she locked eyes with Jessie, who was subtly shaking her head. She dropped her head and busied herself with her phone. Then she suddenly got up and announced that she had to go. “Sorry, just remembered that I have to go to work.”

“Right now?” Jade asked, perplexed.  

“Yes.. uhmm… yeah. Next time girls. Have fun!”

***

“Spill, what’s happening,” Jesy said as she placed a bottle of beer in front of Perrie.

“I’m in a whole lot of trouble, Jesy. I promised her that I’d forget about my stupid crush on her and here I am.”

“Shit, I knew it.”

“It’s like that more I get to know the real her, the more I fall for her.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Perrie grabbed the bottle and downed the entire thing in one gulp.

“Slow down,” Jesy said as she looked at the empty bottle.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do,” Perrie said as she stood up and walked out of Jesy’s bar.

***

“What do you mean?” Jade asked as her eyes watered.

“I have to stay away while I get over this… this feelings, you know.”

“Until when?”

“I don’t know, Jade. I don’t know.” Perrie stood up.  “I have to go now.”

 ***

Leigh Ann watched as her friend became introspective again. Jade had started to come out of her shell but with Perrie’s disappearance, she crawled back in. She even stopped making an effort and would often turn down plans to go out. Leigh Ann talked to Jesy. She knew why Perrie was staying away and she couldn’t fault her. It was just so sad that they were all in this situation. And try as she might, she couldn’t lift Jade’s spirits.

So for the past few weeks, she was always hanging out in Jade’s apartment and watching her friend staring at the television absentmindedly  

“Come on Jade, do it for me, please.”

“I’m just going to bring down everyone.” Jade answered without looking at Leigh Ann.

“But it’s my birthday. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Let’s just celebrate together afterwards. Go have fun first.”

Leigh Ann left Jade’s house disappointed.

***

After ignoring the insistent knocking for ten minutes, Jade couldn’t take the noise anymore. She forced herself out of her room and peaked at the front door. Standing there with a frown at her face was Jesy. Reluctantly she opened the door.

“About time, Thirlwall.” Jesy said as she pushed the door open and entered without being invited. She then placed a brown bag on the dining table and proceeded to take out bottles of alcohol.

“What’s that?”  

“We will drink until we can’t think anymore. We’ll shout until we’re hoarse. We’ll get that stuff out of your chest and then tomorrow we’ll go to Lee’s party.”

“Not going to happen.” Jade said as she turned around walking back to her couch.

“Jade, I know it’s not easy. I mean I don’t really know how that feels because I haven’t experience it before but Lee has been there for you all these time. So you know… it maybe just a party to you but she really wanted you to be there. And the least thing you can do for her is try. And all these wonderful babies,” Jesy gently caressed the bottles, “will help you get through it.”

Jade shut her eyes tightly. Then after a second, she nodded at Jesy. “Hit me with your hardest.”

*** 

The following night, Jade was still feeling the buzz but found herself more amiable as she prepared for Leigh Ann’s party.

“Jesy, I think you hardly took a sip while I finished everything.”

“No, I had one bottle of beer,” Jesy said as she checked Jade over, making sure her makeup was alright. “And when Lee asked me to get you to her party, I assumed she meant in one piece.”

Jade started laughing. “You’re funny, Jesminda.”

“I aim to please. Let’s go.”

“Let me finish this off,” Jade emptied the contents of her glass in one big gulp. “And I’m ready!” She said as she raised her arms in triumph.

Jesy smiled at her and then led her down the stairs. It was actually good to see Jade laughing but knowing that it was due to loads of alcohol in her system made her feel a bit sad. But maybe it is the thing that will finally push her out of her funk.

***

“Lee lee!” Jade shouted as she ran to her friend and hugged her.

Leigh Ann raised her eyebrows in surprise. She did doubt Jesy’s ability to convince Jade so she was pleasantly surprised. When she saw Jesy trailing behind, she mouthed a thank you. Jesy nodded and gave her a thumbs up. The rest of the night, Jade was jumping around and dancing with everyone near her, but often time pulling Leigh Ann and Jesy. It was also one drink after another and after a few hours, any lingering thoughts of sadness had disappeared.

It was almost three in the morning when the party winded down. Jade was still hyper and didn’t want to come home. So Jesy and Leigh Ann accompanied her to a 24 hour coffee shop to wind down and they all winded up drinking tea while Jade was talking animatedly.

“It’s like everything she pushed back down after her fiancée died is bubbling up,” Jesy remarked when Jade excused herself to go to the restroom.

“Its old Jade times two and a half,” Leigh Ann responded. “I’m just hoping when she wakes up from her hangover later she’ll keep some of that stuff.”

“Oh my God! You are here!” Jade can be heard across the restaurant.

Both Leigh Ann and Jesy turned to look at the restroom area at the same time. They found Jade smiling widely and Perrie looking like she was about to get sick.        

Jesy immediately stood up and walked over to the pair. “Pez, what are you doing here?”

“Ahh… I am… out on a… date.” Perrie was tripping over words.  

“At this time?”

“Date?” Jade looked over Perrie’s shoulder as she tried to identify her date. “Where?”

 “Let’s leave her alone with her date,” Jesy said gently pulling Jade back to their table.

“Why? I haven’t seen Perrie in ages. I want to be with her,” Jade whined.

“And her date?” Jesy asked.

“Why not?” Jade shrugged. “There he is!” Jade squealed when a man raised his hand at them. She then ran over and pulled him to their table.

“What is happening?” Perrie asked looking confused.

“I guess we’re having a group date. Why are you even out at this time?”

“It’s like the third date and you know there are some expectations on the third date. But I didn’t want to. So I dragged him in here and waiting for the sun to rise so that we can go our separate way afterwards.”

“Why even go on a third date?”

“Trying to keep my mind off a certain someone. Maybe I wasn’t thinking too clearly.” Perrie said as a matter of fact.

“Well, the Jade tonight is someone you’ve never met. Maybe you won’t like her as much.” Jesy sighed when she found Perrie looking lovelorn as she stared unabashly at Jade who seemed to be flirting wildly with her date.  “Maybe not. Come on. Let’s go rescue your date before Jade takes him home.”

“What?” Perrie seems to have woken up from her reverie. “No one’s going home with him!” She then marched determinedly to the table and pulled the guy away. After a few minutes of talking, he waved goodbye at the girls and left.

“Why’d you let him leave?” Jade pouted at Perrie. “He seems fun.”

“No he’s not.” Perrie said as she sat down, selecting the chair across Jade. The farthest but also the nearest as they were now face to face. Jade leaned on the table and then reached out her hands to squeeze Perrie’s face.

“I miss this face,” Jade simply said. Then she released her hold and leaned back, closing her eyes.

Leigh Ann and Jesy looked at each other in confusion. “You okay, Jade?”

“Tired,” she mumbled. “You talk among yourselves,” she added with a slight wave of her hand.

For the next hour, Leigh Ann and Jess talked as Perrie sat silently staring at Jade who seemed to be sleeping.

“I have to go to the restroom,” Perrie said as she suddenly stood up.

Only a few seconds passed when Jade opened her eyes, stood up and turned towards the direction of the restroom. Before she can take a step, she felt Jesy’s grip on her arm. “Not a good idea, babe.”

“My bladder disagrees,” Jade said as she shook off Jesy’s hand and walked to the restroom. She paused just for a second before opening the door and stepping in. She found Perrie standing there, waiting for her. She took one step forward, starting intently at Perrie. Because of the tightness of the place, that step placed her inches away from Perrie.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just took months to update.... But now, I'm in the mood for some Jerrie action! Anybody still interested aside from me?


	4. Chapter 4

Jade slowly leaned closer as Perrie just stayed frozen. For a brief second their lips touched then the next thing Perrie knew, Jade slapped her.

“What was that for?” She asked as she raised her hand to rub her cheek.

“For leaving me.”

“I’m… I…” Perrie didn’t have enough time to answer back when Jade roughly pushed her aside. Perrie watched as she rushed to the toilet bowl and started throwing up. Not knowing what to do, Perrie kneeled down beside Jade and held her hair up. It was almost five minutes of stopping and then throwing up again before Jade’s stomach finally settled down. “Are… are you alright?” Perrie asked.

“I just threw up everything I drank and ate for the last two days, what do you think?” Jade snapped.

“I’m just asking… I worry about you.”

“You didn’t seem too worried when you left me.” Jade wiped her mouth on her dress, stood up and almost slipped if not for Perrie’s hold on her.

“Let me help you.”

“Haven’t you done enough?” Jade said as she tried to shake off Perrie’s hand.  “I never expected to feel this way so soon. But you… you made me feel things. And I felt hopeful and happy… and then you left. You didn’t even try to listen to me. You just left.” Jade grabbed a few tissues and wiped her face. She then stared at Perrie through the mirror. “I don’t want to see you ever again.” And with that she stepped out of the washroom.

Perrie stayed inside for a few more minutes. When she opened the door, Jade and Leigh Ann was nowhere to be seen. Jesy was sitting nearby, waiting for her.

“Let’s go home, I called us an Uber” Jesy sadly said when she approached Perrie. Perrie just nodded and followed Jesy out. 

They have been waiting in silence when Perrie suddenly spoke up. “I was only doing what was right. You know I did. Why am I the bad person here?”

“I don’t know, Pez. Life is complicated. Right and wrong may not be always be the same for everyone.”

“That doesn’t really help me.” Perrie let out a frustrated sigh.

“I don’t really know what to say.”

***

 “Did you really say those things?” Leigh Ann asked as she turned towards Jade.

“I did. I told you,” Jade answered from underneath the blanket.

 “So… you do feel something for her?”

“Aren’t you tired Lee-lee?”

“Don’t change the topic,” Leigh Ann said as she sat up from the bed and flung the bed covers from Jade.

 “It’s late, Leigh Ann,” Jade answered without moving from her position, eyes shut tightly. “And we haven’t slept yet. Can we just do that?”

“I don’t want you sleeping and thinking all these bad things that happened to you because not all of it is true.” Leigh Ann persisted as she pulled Jade to a sitting position.

“You’re just saying all these things to make me feel better. But I don’t need lies.” Jade sighed as she faced Leigh Ann. “I know I’m a drag to be with right now, but I’ll eventually get over this.”

“I’m not lying to you Jade. If you don’t want to see her anymore, if you really want to hate her, then that’s your choice. I just want to make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons and not basing it from whatever truth you believe in your head.”

“Whose friend are you, Leigh Ann?” Jade said as laid down again and pulled the blanket over her.

“You know what? Fine. If you don’t want to listen, then it doesn’t matter how much I repeat myself over and over again or shout in your ear. Maybe when you wake up later, you’ll have more sense in you.” Leigh Ann gave up and laid down on the other side of the bed. After a few minutes, she can be heard snoring.

Jade slowly got up from the bed, careful not to wake up her friend. She then took her clothes and left the room. After a few minutes, her Uber was at the door and she was on her way.

***

“If you have any advice for me, now would be a good time. Because I really don’t know how to handle this. ”

Jade stopped at the entrance upon hearing the voice.

“It’s like all I keep doing is making one mistake after another. All I am doing is making her feel bad or sad or angry.”

Jade quietly walked towards the sound.

“And all I want to do is to make her smile, to make her laugh, to make her feel loved.” 

Jade paused at the corner. She can see Perrie pacing in front of the window where her dead fiance’s ashes lay.

“Because I… I like her… I really do. But I don’t know what to do. There’s no freaking rule book. And I just… I just don’t know…”

“Perrie…”

Perrie jumped back in surprise and almost slipped on the floor. “Jade, what are you doing here?”

“Same as you, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. This is your place. I don’t even know her, I don’t know why I’m talk---.”

“It’s okay,” Jade said as she stepped towards Perrie.  “I think us being here at the same time… I think she’s kindda giving us her blessings.”

***

Leigh Ann woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Suddenly feeling hungry, she padded over the kitchen but then suddenly stopped when she saw Jade and Perrie sitting by the kitchen table, two plates empty and one stood untouched. They were just staring at each other, hands clasped together, unaware of her presence.

“What is this?” Leigh Ann spoke up after clearing her throat.

Both Jade and Perrie looked up in surprise, quickly releasing each other’s hands.

“You know I prefer waffles.” Leigh Ann sat down beside them and started digging in one of the plates, contradicting her statement when she took a big bite of the pancake. .

“I’ll get you some tea,” Perrie offered and stood up to walk over to the kettle.

With Perrie focusing on the kettle, Leigh Ann looked up at Jade. “Are you okay?” she asked in a low voice.

Jade smiled at her friend and nodded.

“I’m glad.” 

“Here’s your tea.” Perrie said as she placed a cup in front of Leigh Ann. “Well, I better head back to Jesy and let her know I’m still alive.”  

“Hey Pez,” Leigh Ann called and stared at Perrie directly. “Thanks for the tea. But just so you know, if you ever make this tea go bad, I’m coming after you.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Perrie said with a quick salute. Then as if an afterthought, she walked back towards Jade and kissed her on the cheek. “See you later, bubba.”

“Counting on it.”


End file.
